PetSpeak - A Short Glossary
Programme Information
Send a Pets Postcard to a close friend or enemy
Hamish, Trevor, JP and Davina have been banged up together in the Pets House for so long that they have begun to develop their very own language.
Here are a few examples of "PetSpeak" from the first few episodes of Series One.
bolivers n. canine testicles - e.g. the biggest pair of bolivers I’ve ever seen. See also spangle blisters
buffing the vampire slayer - to masturbate furiously. See also soaping the seal, milking the dogfish.
catsnatch n. the genitals of a female cat. – e.g. Fuck off catsnatch!
collopy n. small cat turd.
dogstar n. arse. – e.g. How would you like my boot up your dogstar?
egghatch n. parrot’s anus.
emptying the custard bag - routine canine ejaculation
eyegrout v. - to perform cunnilingus on a cat – e.g. I gave her a good eyegrouting. See also tickling the furball.
feather dick n. canine nickname for a parrot
gutgrimace v. - to shit - e.g. I’m going for a good gut grimace
growler n - canine erection - e.g. I’ve got a bit of a growler on
hewitt n. toilet - e.g. I’m going to the hewitt for a dump.
karzo n. lavatory. – e.g. I’m going to the karzo for a damned good gutgrimace
lagwit n. – parrot. see also Feather Dick
pink–whippet n. canine penis.
pugbox n. the genitals of a small female dog
savaloy supper n. canine felatio
spag v. to fuck a large rodent
spangle n. canine semen i.e. dog spangle e.g. Have you been spangling off again?
spangle blisters n. canine testicles see also spangle sacks
spangle sacks n. see spangle blisters spaniel-tits n. one with nipples like a female spaniel e.g. Oy! Spaniel tits!
Hamish:
"Fuck off spaniel tits!"
Trevor:
"How's your dogstar, donkeyflaps?"
JP:
"Trevor's got his pink-whippet caught in a hot water bottle!"